Thank you, whoever you are.

Thank you for the good times. Thank you for making him smile with just a thought of you on his mind. Thank you for making him happy whenever he’s having a bad day. Thank you for cracking corny jokes just to put that priceless upward curve on his mouth. Thank you for staying up late at […]

Advertisements

Thank you for the good times.

Thank you for making him smile with just a thought of you on his mind. Thank you for making him happy whenever he’s having a bad day. Thank you for cracking corny jokes just to put that priceless upward curve on his mouth. Thank you for staying up late at night whenever he can’t sleep. Thank you for making him feel that he is enough. Thank you for trusting him. Thank you for putting efforts on the special days of his life. Thank you for coming with him to the places he always wanted to visit. Thank you for taking stolen pictures of him featuring his different emotions. He deserve all of it.

Thank you for the bad times.

Thank you for making him sad. Thank you for whatever happened in the past that gave him something to be scared of today. Thank you for the tears that he cried because of you. Thank you for closing your door to him. Thank you for not allowing him to enter your door  again whenever he is banging on it. Thank you for being letting him go.

Thank you, whatever it is.

Thank you for allowing him to experience the two sides of loving someone. Thank you for the laughter and sorrows. Thank you for being there and not being there when he needed you. Thank you for your presence for it enlighten him and for your absence for whatever it taught him. Thank you for that broken road of his journey for it leads him closer to Him. Thank you for everything that happened in the past for it makes today sweeter. Thank you for allowing today to be more exciting and more challenging. Thank you for this chance of embracing his laughter, for seeing his scared yet beautiful heart, for allowing to journey this road with him, et cetera. There is a lot to say, but I’m going to save it for Him and him alone.

Thank you for the good times. Thank you for the bad times. Thank you, whatever it is. 15380520_1439967236014680_5370367341422898272_n

Under construction

Its noisy and messy at the same time. Noise each time they will use hammer that is really annoying to hear. Pieces of gravel all around that hurts my feet whenever I accidentally stepped on it. And other things that is not pleasing to the eyes.

If I will compare myself to anything on this world right now, it will be like a house that is under construction. A lot of rough things are happening but that is only because something beautiful and strong is about to come. You see, the owner do not build a house without any plan on it or without any plan of not finishing it. Just because you feel like you’re hopeless, wait, God is not finished with you yet. That’s a promise, not just some random thought. He never leaves anyone, no “but’s” and “what if’s”. He sees even the smallest detail that is ugly in you. He loves that part in you that you are still learning to love. He loves you and when He said that that is only because He meant it. He loves you like there is no one else to love. And He understands if you find it hard to believe. The thing is, He will never stop pursuing you because He loves you.

And just like a house that is still under construction, you too is in the process and you too will soon rise, strong heart!

15326551_1496546027026913_4832926193000848540_n

You’re 20, be patient.

You’re 20. You’re excited about new experiences especially having your first job, receiving your first salary, thinking what gift to give to yourself, where and what to eat with your family. Excited about having a harmonious relationship with your co-workers and boss, about your tasks and the trust that they will give to you.

You’re 20. You’re scared about not meeting people’s expectations. You’re tired inside for the things that is happening around you. You made a not so smart choices. You regret the things that you did for not thinking about it very well. You lose the chances you thought you will always have.

You’re 20 and you are still learning, figuring things out, finding what you really want. You are still  moving forward even if you feel like you are already stuck. You are failing because you are trying. You are in the waiting season, just like the seed after being planted.

You’re 20 and you are brave. Brave enough to make choices. Brave enough to apologize for the wrong things you’ve made. Brave enough to forgive yourself. Brave enough to choose something that is not in your comfort zone. Brave enough to continue executing even if it looks like there is not progress yet. Brave enough to still believe in yourself even if the people around you is already done believing that you can. Brave enough to believe and to work hard to reach the dream that your soul is screaming about. Brave enough to still have a hope that one day you will bloom on the path you choose.

15232121_1439963429348394_7364511458412651176_n

“Tuldok” sa mundo ng “Tuldok-kuwit”

Matagal na din simula nung huli nating pag-uusap – yung pag-uusap na kahit madaming problema na kinakaharap ay nandun yung pakiramdam na magiging ayos din ang lahat, yung pag-uusap kung saan nandun ang tiwala na tunay yung pagmamahal na binibigay mo, yung pag-uusap kung saan naniniwala ako sa mga sinasabi mo.

Madami akong laging tinatanong sayo at ilang araw na din akong naghahanap ng sagot. May mga tanong na binibigay mo agad ang mga sagot. Pero matigas lang siguro talaga ang ulo ko dahil tuwing makukuha ko yung sagot, nagiging para bang mga bula ito na isa-isang nawawala sa hangin habang hinaharap ko ang mga problema. May mga tanong naman na hindi ko mahanap-hanap ang sagot hanggang sa mapagtanto ko nalang na yun pala ay dahil sa maling lugar ko ito hinahanap.

Ang daming problema. Sunod-sunod. Para bang nilulunod ako ng mundo sa dagat. Yung tipong wala ng ibang makakasagip sayo. Unti-unti kong nilalabanan yung mga problema na dapat sana ay huhubugin ako para maging mas malakas, pero kabaliktaran ang nangyayari dahil imbis na lumaban kahit pagod na ay hinayaan ko nalang na mas mapagod at pinili kong wag ng lumaban pa. Sa gitna ng problema, pinakain mo ako sa isang balyena. Pero yung mga oras na dapat sana may iniisip ko yung mga bagay na meron ako kahit hindi ko hiniling at yung mga bagay na meron ako na pinagdasalan ko at binigay mo ay ginamit ko pa ang oras para magreklamo at mas ibigay yung atensyon ko sa mga bagay na hindi maganda. Habang nalulunod sa problema o dahil ba hinayaan na malunod dito ay nakalimutan kong alalahanin na ang tagapagsagip ko ay kayang maglakad sa ibabaw ng tubig para iligtas ako.

Lagi kong iniisip na hindi ako sapat. Na ang bawat pagkakamali na nagawa ko ay pinapakita kung sino ako. Na ang bawat paghihirap na nararanasan ko ay mga bagay na dapat ko lang maramdaman dahil sa mga kasalanan ko. Hindi ko naisip na sa bawat pagbagsak ko, ikaw ang laging nandun para sagipin ako. Dahil sa mga kasalanan ko iniisip ko na wala na akong pag-asa para makabangon ulit. Pero isa-isa mong ipinakita sa akin ang mga sugat mo. Ang mga sugat na ako din mismo ang naglagay. Ngunit pinakita mo ito upang hindi ko maramdaman na sobrang akong makasalanan, kundi ipinakita mo ito para malaman ko na sa bawat pagbagsak ko ay hindi mo ako iniwan, na sa bawat laban na meron ako ay kasama kitang nakikipag-laban.

Mas natakot ako, natakot ako na pag hinayaan kitang malapit sa akin ay mas mabigyan lang kita ng sugat. Kaya unti-unti akong naglakad palayo sayo. Nakita ko na napansin mo na lumalayo na ako pero tinanggi ko ito. Tapos, tumakbo na ako palayo sayo. Tumakbo ako ng tumakbo para hindi mo na ako makita at maabutan. Binilisan ko ang takbo na kahit hinihingal na ako ay patuloy pa din akong tumakbo at nagtago sayo. Sa wakas ay hindi na din kita naririnig na hinahabol ako, sa wakas napagod ka ng hanapin ako. Pero ganun mo nga siguro ako kamahal, dahil ang buong akala ko na wala ka na, yun pala ay tahimik ka lang na nag-iintay na mapagod akong tumakbo papalayo sayo. Niyakap mo ako ng may ngiti sa mga labi mo at pinaalala na anak mo pa din ako. Yung mga yakap na tila ba ayaw at hinding-hindi na ako bibitawan. Yung ngiti na para bang wala akong ginawang mali. Yung pagmamahal na tunay at hindi matatapos.

Sa mundo ng tuldok-kuwit, masaya akong may lalagyan ako ng tuldok at tatapusin na ang kabanata na ito at ipagpapatuloy ang mabuhay ng masaya at ligtas kasama Ka.

15541686_1315173301859976_6445050684328450504_n

Salamat sa walang katapusang pagpapatawad, pagmamahal at grasya, Hesus. ❤

 

Sa pagitan ng . at ;

Nakakapagod pala ang mundo sa labas ng unibersidad. Yung totoong mundo kung saan kailangan mong makipag sapalaran sa tadhana. Nakakapanibago ang lahat – ang bawat kilos ng mga tao na makakasalamuha mo. Nakakapanibago na mapapaisip ka kung masasanay ka ba o magiging katulad din nila. Pilit mong aabutin yung mga ekspetasyon na meron sila dahil ganun umiikot ang mundo at wala kang ibang magagawa kundi ang sabayan ito. Nakakapagod paulit-ulit na masaktan ng hindi mo alam kung paano mo mapupunan ang mga pagkukulang na meron ka. Nakakapagod na isa-isahin na itama ang bawat pagkakamali mo dahil sa bawat pag-subok mo na ayusin ito ay nagkakaron nanaman ng bagong pagkakamali. Nakakapagod na paulit-ulit na umiyak sa gabi at ngumiti sa umaga. Nakakapagod na paulit-ulit kang babangon sa umaga at susubukan ulit na lumaban. Naghahati yung sarili mo sa, ‘Ayoko ng maniwala.’ at ‘Maniniwala pa ako.’ Nakakapagod na hanapin yung tinatawag na “wisdom” sa mga pagkakamali at maling desisyon na pinili mo. Nakakapagod na parang wala ka nalang maramdaman pero sa tuwing mapapaisip ka, tulo nalang ng luha ang tanging meron ka. Na para bang isa kang robot na gumagalaw pero nararamdaman mo na mabigat sa pakiramdam. Nakakapagod na. Mali pala, pagod na ako. 

tumblr_o2upn5dtfw1rd3z7po1_540

Dear 20 year old self…

No more a “teen”. More responsibilities are coming. More opportunities are waiting. More “No” from the world, and sometimes you are the one who gives it to the world.

You’ve been experiencing too much since day 1.Been struggling to go with the world because you know you can’t missed the deadlines.

Be glad, you did it after losing a lot of time thinking if you will ever make it.You did it because you are strong even if inside you feel weak. You did it because you are destined for greatness. You did it because just like a diamond, pressure is already done.

But life continues. And you are being put into pressure once again. Please, do not lose hope. I know you are falling apart, but still, you are doing your best to keep yourself altogether. If you did it before, you will do it again today. And believe it or not, you will do it now more than you did it before because you are stronger than before. You are not forgotten, not forgotten.

Detour: The Parable of the Three Trees

There was three big trees with big dreams. The first tree dreams that the King of Kings will sit down on him. The second tree dreams that he will carry the greatest treasure on earth. And the last tree dreams that people will look up to him.

The time came when they were cut down. The first tree became a trough. Then one night, to his surprised, a man and a pregnant woman came on the manger where the woman gave birth. Little that the tree know that the baby that was lying on him afterwards was Jesus Christ, the King of kings.

The second tree became a ship. And in the middle of the sea, the ship witnessed a person walking on water and calmed the storm. The dream of the second tree came true: to carry the greatest treasure on earth and that is Jesus Christ.

While the third and last tree was cut down into two. And he felt that someone was carrying him. And later on, someone was being nailed to him. The tree felt that his dream did not come true. But then the tree soon found out that people are looking up to him because Jesus Christ was nailed to him. And since that day, people are always looking up to him.

The third tree’s dream may not happen the way he dreamt it, but still, it happened. We may have our own plans and things may happen the way we didn’t expect it to be. But it doesn’t mean that it is already the “end zone”, even though sometimes it looks and it feels like it is. It only means that God is going to surprise us, He is going to make our plans happen but not the way we picture it.

Jesus promised,

“For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

 

Hanggang kelan?

Hanggang kelan mo siya iintindihin?

Hanggang kelan mo siya papatawadin?

Hanggang kelan mo siya pagpapasensyahan?

Kelan mo ipapakita sa kanya na matagal ka ng napapagod?

Kelan mo ipaparamdam sa kanya na ang bawat luha na pumapatak mula sa iyong mata ay dahil sa kanya?

Hanggang kelan mo siya mamahalin?

Nag-iisang sagot sa dinadami ng mga tanong:

“Kapag napalitan ang lahat ng pagod at sakit ng pagmamahal.”

As if.

Many times, He is true to His promises. But still every time another challenge is in front of her, she still question Him… as if He failed her before.

In a raging sea of “What-if’s”, she heard a calming voice says, “I don’t care about what you will earn. All I care about is your heart that is willing to continue trusting Me.” And she responded like a child playing hide and seek… as if He will never know wherever she is.

She is failing but its only because she’s depending too much on herself. She wants to take control of everything about her life… as if her life belongs to her alone and not to Him.

She compare herself on the people around her which resulted to a lot of negative feelings about herself. She blame nothing but herself… as if He didn’t told her how precious she is in His eyes.

 

Trembling but trusting.

          Its easy to say, “I surrender it Jesus. Have it Your way.” But to fully look into the deepest part of your heart where fears are coming from, it was never easy, it was worth it.

          Surrendering means putting all of you – your dreams, fears, failures, doubts, future, into the One’s hands. And humans as we are, we also have our own desires. Some of it came from what the world is showing to us, while some of it came from God’s desires for us. We make plans for our own lives, some of us even have a timeline of our lives that we eagerly what to happen. So we work hard, we do multi-tasking, we stay up until 3 am in the morning and sometimes we didn’t even sleep – in short we do not take a good peaceful rest until our work is done. Little did we know that we are destroying the temple that God had given to us, our body.

“My beloved, feel free to stop and take a breath. Get some real rest. You do not rest because your work is done. You rest because I commanded it and created you to have a need for it.”

And when things doesn’t work well even though we are already like zombies because of too much work, we question our God. We doubt. We think to ourselves that we are not really enough. But one thing that we forget is that,

“But these things I plan won’t happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not overdue a single day!” (Habakkuk 2:3)

 Continue to fully surrender all of you – your dreams, fears, failures, future into the One’s hands. You will never lose. Because always remember, you’re giving your dreams, fears, failures and future into the hands of the One who made you, who knows you more than anyone can, who see the depths of your heart but still love you the same, who is thinking of you 24/7, who is your Father that longs to listen and talk to you.

Continue trusting Him that He knows what He is doing even if you do not understand for His place will always be the safest one.

Continue dreaming, but as you make your dreams, continue offering your dreams into His hands first and you will see how you can make it with His guidance. You will receive more than anything you’ve asked.

The road may be blurry but His eyes will always be clear and comforting.